Half baked anti-gravity idea

w00dward · Post by **w00dward** » Thu 21 Feb, 2008 3:46 pm

Best use for a cat yet. Imagine the eurostar on these. We could half the journey time and the environmental savings would be huge!

Bill Henry · Post by **Bill Henry** » Thu 21 Feb, 2008 4:00 pm

Uh, oh! … I think Paul's off his medication again.

Spit · Post by **Spit** » Thu 21 Feb, 2008 4:05 pm

I had quite a discussion about the possibility of doing something like this many years ago. The reason it would fail is because you would have to attach the motor somehow - and a driveshaft from the motor can go in only one place on a cat.....

The resulting noise from the other end will cause nosebleeds, earbleeds and even death from sonic shock. This renders it a useless technology unless scientists can breed a mute cat. George bush has reportedly taken interest in its weapons potential though, even though it is reckoned that anyone firing such a thing will have their face melted off.

georgeh · Post by **georgeh** » Thu 21 Feb, 2008 4:46 pm

This could be a great discovery and benefit mankind, but if it falls into the wrong hands the outcome could be catoastrophic

Spit · Post by **Spit** » Thu 21 Feb, 2008 5:13 pm

Another reason it won't work is that the mass of a cat is too small to produce any meaningful energy. You'd have to use something larger like a bear - however nobody knows for sure whether a bear will always land on its feet when you flip it in the air. The only scientist to test this was buried shortly after in a 1" deep coffin.

The other problem with using bears is of course that you will have to scale up the size of the buttered toast. Apart from the engineering difficulties of making a 7 foot slice of toast stable, there is the problem of centrifugal forces flinging the butter off, which will quickly bring the device to a shuddering halt, leaving you with one angry bear on the loose.

I can see the role of a service engineer for these things having a very high staff turnover.