Scammers are out again

[chris62]

Got this the other day.
Hello and Good day
I so much appreciate your works and would be interested in purchasing your them for my personal use,also i would i like to refer you to a distant cousin of mine so please can you reconfirm your website/online portfolio link,also is a direct purchase from you possible?.
Thanks so much and i patiently await your response
Regards
Kelavic

[IFGL]

I wonder if anyone genuine actually sends email that read in that way, it would be very unfortunate for them if they did, they would never get any response to any emails they send

[Graysalchemy]

I had a scammer on the phone trying to gain access to my computer with the usual Windows had detected a virus scam. So I asked him politely as possible which computer it was, he said teh one in your office. I went onto explain to him we had over 150 computers and operators. He said that was silly and asked why I had so many, I told him he had rung up an outfit that scams unsuspecting old age pensioners by telling them they have a virus on their computer.

He hung up.

[IFGL]

Next time act concerned, tell them you will follow their instructions, when he asks you to go to the start menu, or whatever he asks you to do, say you can't see it, give it a minute, then say should you have switched it on first?, if he carries on still say you can't see what he is talking about, when he asked what computer you have tell him a V tech my first computer and should you press the big orange button that plays the nursery rhymes?

I have wound them up so much they have shouted and sworn at me, very funny.

[Tudor Rose]

Used to spend lots of time using different ways to wind them up, now I just say "thank god you called back, I've been having so many problems" which seems to scare them witless and 100% rate of them putting the phone straight down now.

[IFGL]

I have also asked them for their sort code and bank account number.

[MikeSwannick]

I got an unsolicited insurance company phone call offering services to recover damages after my 'recent car accident'. The caller got quite excited when I said that I had been in an awful collision with 5 other electric vehicles, all the same make, that the manufacturer had only fitted one working seat belt and I'm sure a couple of drivers looked under age. He lost his enthusiasm when I told him the location of the incident was the dodgems at Cleethorpes Pleasure Island.

No sense of humour some people!

[Tudor Rose]

awesome response, love it

[IFGL]

Consider that one stolen Mike.

[Ian Kenny Framing]

"....calling about the accident which was not your fault"
ME : "Which one? I've had three"
CALLER : "Three accidents?"
ME : "Yes, I'm very unlucky. The second two were in courtesy cars provided by my insurance company after the first accident. None of them were my fault"
CALLER : "#@!K @#F!". Hangs up.

[prospero]

I got caller ID on the phone and if it says "International...... I don't bother to pick up.

I like your answer AG. I tell them I don't have a computer.

[GeoSpectrum]

I tell them I don't have a phone or a computer....sometimes I confuse myself.

[Graysalchemy]

I had one this afternoon regarding having an accident, so I tried the dodgem one. He took it hook line and sinker, he even had to put me on to his supervisor. Anyway he hung up after I told him that I wanted to make a claim against a 10 yr old who happened to be a relative.

[Not your average framer]

There's always a delay on the line before they get connected, so this gives time to think about what to say when they get connected. The caller has no idea who the computer has just called so you can answer the call saying that you are who ever you like.

I've never tried this one, but something like "this is the erectile disfnction help line, can I help you", might be a good way to answer these calls.

Sorry, but you just have to wind up these people, especially if you are having a boring day.

[Roboframer]

I like to do a Norman Collier impression on them (just the first minute or so in the vid)