Only In Britain

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Mr Bojangles
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Only In Britain

Post by Mr Bojangles »

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? - Suspicion of anything foreign. Oh and...... Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ....

Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ...

Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ...

Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ....

Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ...

Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ...

Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

-3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

-142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

-58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

-31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

-19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

-British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

-101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

-18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

-A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

-5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Gary
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prospero
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Post by prospero »

:D Some of the examples of 'emergency' 999 calls that are published occaisionally take some believing. :shock:

"Help" I have lost the remote control for the TV"

"I can't find my way to Sainburys"

"How long do you microwave a frozen pizza?"



On a similar theme....

I heard a good one about a woman in a council flat who lost her keys an could not get out. She rang the local council who promised to send a locksmith round. "Are you going to be in all day?" they asked? :?
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

Image
:)
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

Or you can escape to Europe......
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prospero
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Post by prospero »

I can make windmills with Meccano. :D

Not the dancing girls though. :cry:
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

She's bringing us the chocolate.......:)
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Merlin
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Post by Merlin »

Image

Padded lampposts are being trialled in a London street to protect inattentive pedestrians


Surely it is not April 1st already??
John GCF
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

Narrow boats.......
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I have to investigate a vacation in the UK with one......:)
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prospero
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Post by prospero »

:D Watch out for oil rigs when crossing the channel. :roll:
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

He became famous in the UK.....
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

:oops:
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Mr Bojangles
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Post by Mr Bojangles »

Wonderful Odems a proper fish & chip supper
Gary
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

This is better....
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Moglet
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Post by Moglet »

Mr Bojangles wrote:Wonderful Odems a proper fish & chip supper
Not the same without the newspaper... :cry:
........Áine JGF SGF FTB
Image .Briseann an dúchas trí shuiligh an chuit.
Roboframer

Post by Roboframer »

Moglet wrote: Not the same without the newspaper... :cry:
I'd rather eat the newspaper - that's one tired fish supper!
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

Three for "Only in Britain" :roll:
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

Image :xcomputer:
Moglet
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Post by Moglet »

Waaahh! Nosferatcher's back!!! :shock:
........Áine JGF SGF FTB
Image .Briseann an dúchas trí shuiligh an chuit.
Mary Case GCF

Post by Mary Case GCF »

Wot! You disrespectin' the sainted Margaret? She who made it possible for a mere woman to start her own business? Shame on you! :x :) :wink:
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Odems
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Post by Odems »

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