Warning for wives

[Dermot]

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the TescoLoyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering
banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Houseware to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in houseware..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

[Moglet]

I kinda like the sound of Mr. Murray.

That said, the appeal of his humour might wear a bit thin if one was living with him.

[Bill Henry]

Mr. Murray’s behavior works!

When I first got married, my wife used to drag me to the grocery store. I hate shopping.

So, I began filling up the basket with all kinds of stuff like cookies, ice cream, squid flavored éclairs and brussel sprouts.

Pretty soon she stopped taking me to the store.

Worked for me.

[Moglet]

I hate shopping.

So do I!!! Perhaps that's why I can relate to Mr. Murray's jovial antics!

[barefaced framer]

Not all men hate shopping.
My husband has been doing our weekly shop for over 10 years, starting when our children were toddlers.
They are now teenagers but he still does it, and I'm happy to let him. He also cooks half the week too, as I'm back later than him.
He even lets me on the laptop when the footballs on!!