how to speak essex

[mikeysaling]

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than previously ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed)


cort a panda

- A rather large hamburger

Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossamatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs tago in the

garrij cos it ain't working proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's popular soap opera, Eastenders, go on holiday

tan - The city of London, the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone. ("Webbats is me dole card, Trace? I gotta sign on

in arfn our")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times

already")

[prospero]

Car......... Insult to a woman. (wotyadoin ya silly car?)

Moat-a..... Car.

Cabinet..... Taxi