911 calls

[mikeysaling]

of course we don't have silly people like this in the uk - DO WE?

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I ' m sick and tired
of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I ' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn ' t have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma ' am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I ' m not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What ' s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I ' m having trouble breathing. I ' m all out of breath.
Darn....I think I ' m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I ' m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

[prospero]

The best UK one I heard about was a woman who lost her keys and couldn't get out of her council flat. She rang the council who said they would send a locksmith round that afternoon and would she please make sure there was someone in.


This is a good 'un as well.

[Bill Henry]

And, of course, there is the frantic call to the police when a woman locked her keys in the car on a hot summer day. She was hysterical because her kids were strapped into the back seat. The police fearing that the kids would suffocate sent a patrol car but suggested that she break one of the side windows to the kids could get some air.

She said it wasn’t necessary since the windows were already down.

[mikeysaling]

i can believe this - there was a panic in a certain part of essex over the weekend cause someone had a text message saying 'hundreds' of kids had been kidnapped -

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