every man should be married - once

[mikeysaling]

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.

It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;

for another thing, they die earlier.

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty salon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
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Bad Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs....."
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor,

who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in !
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back

toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,

'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said,

"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief,

but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before.

For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?

"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works ! "

[Tim]

There are three levels of poverty in life. You choose which you wish to belong to.

Single

Married

Married with children.

[mikeysaling]

you forgot being a duchess ..........................

or an mp - we do it for the love of our fellow men!

[Rosie7thwave]

Theres only twice in your life you can be "pronounced" anything , pronounced man and wife or dead on arrival !

[mikeysaling]

[prospero]

To prepare for marriage, a the prospective groom should always have his ears pierced.




Then he can gain experience of both pain and buying jewelry in one go.

[sim.on]

The local news station was interviewing an 84 - year - old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now, in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

"Easy son," she smiled.
"I married one for the money,...two for the show,...three to get ready,...and four to go"