OK peeps, I ain't got no digree in English grandma or lit - innit.
But a few clips around the ear, back in the days when kids didn't just do what they hey they liked in fear of said ....... have been brought to the fore by a certain misuse of 'it'
'It' is a thing, nothing can belong to 'it' therefore a sentence like this ...
"The house had a tree in it's garden" IS WRONG!!
NO apostrophe ............. OK!!!
Only use an apostrophe with 'it' to replace the 'i' in 'It is' - e.g. ...
"It's pissing down with rain"
You see, when you use the apostroiphe in 'it' wrongly - you take me back to my secondary school English teacher, who was basically a sadist - today he would be behind bars.
"Can I go to the toilet sir"
(Pleasant smile) "Of course you can, Turner"
So, I get up and head for the door - suddenly Mr Jones has me by the shoulder, spins me around and whacks me - HARD around the lughole.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TURNER"
(Clutching ear) "But you said I could go to the toilet sir"
"Yes, yes, yes, I know I did - of course you can - you have legs, we have a toilet, so you CAN - but I did not say you MAY and you did not ask if you MAY!
"May I go to the toliet sir?"
"NO - sit down" - another smack around the ear.
Bastard.
How to talk gooder English
"How do you spell (hardwordhere) Sir?"
"d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y"
Comical lot, teachers.....
I wasn't exactly the star pupil in the subject of English grammar, but now I am much older I seem to be developing Victor Meldrew syndrome. Some TV adverts really irritate me.
"The forklift reversed without looking".
I used to drive a forklift and as far as I know it never had any sort of visual sense.
R.N.L.I advert (paraphrased):
"Our supporters are literally a lifeline".
Interesting mental image there.
"Price of Car Insurance! Stupid!"
Stupid is an adjective that can only be applied to entity prosessing some form of intelligence.
"d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y"
Comical lot, teachers.....
I wasn't exactly the star pupil in the subject of English grammar, but now I am much older I seem to be developing Victor Meldrew syndrome. Some TV adverts really irritate me.
"The forklift reversed without looking".
I used to drive a forklift and as far as I know it never had any sort of visual sense.
R.N.L.I advert (paraphrased):
"Our supporters are literally a lifeline".
Interesting mental image there.
"Price of Car Insurance! Stupid!"
Stupid is an adjective that can only be applied to entity prosessing some form of intelligence.
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foxyframer
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Back in the bad old days of this fair isles' education system we were taught on pain of death to spell proper. Last lesson Friday was always spelling. Agony for some and a breeze for the others.
Sentence construction and getting the apostrophe correct was paramount.
Times-tables were drilled in to, as were algebraic equations.
Why in these times of education x3 (Blair ideals) these simple and fundamental principles are missing ?
One teacher I remember vividly for the vile temper he had in front of class. Scream uncontrollably, ping the ubiquitous chalk across the room and fling with devastating accuracy the blackboard rubber.
When I moved county to a school in Dorset, who should get a post as a teacher not long after. Not only did he recognize me as being a former pupil but still came with the badassed attitude and for some reason I was one of his targets. Blackboard rubbers were top of the weapons list !
Bloody dangerous practice.
Odd thing is, he didn't last very long at either school and both schools were for INFANTS !!! pre-elevens.
BASTARD.
Sentence construction and getting the apostrophe correct was paramount.
Times-tables were drilled in to, as were algebraic equations.
Why in these times of education x3 (Blair ideals) these simple and fundamental principles are missing ?
One teacher I remember vividly for the vile temper he had in front of class. Scream uncontrollably, ping the ubiquitous chalk across the room and fling with devastating accuracy the blackboard rubber.
When I moved county to a school in Dorset, who should get a post as a teacher not long after. Not only did he recognize me as being a former pupil but still came with the badassed attitude and for some reason I was one of his targets. Blackboard rubbers were top of the weapons list !
Bloody dangerous practice.
Odd thing is, he didn't last very long at either school and both schools were for INFANTS !!! pre-elevens.
BASTARD.
Measure twice - cut once
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markw
Assuming all contributors to this thread are mature framers, possibly showing Victor Meldrew symptoms. The question should be asked, was the education system better when we were at school?
My memory is distinctively of very polarised teachers - The complete bastards and the very good. I failed to grasp French completely because of the sadistic methods used by the French master - he would haul you out of your chair by the hair just above your ear for the slightest mistake. This didn't improve my French - just made me wary of speaking it.
I'm a school governor at the local secondary school and part of our role as a governor is to sit in on lessons - see how things go on. I always envy the students of today's education system - the "bastards" don't survive any more and most of the educators are dedicated professionals who not only like the people they teach, they do the job really well.
I always get so cross when comparisons are made at GCSE and A level results time with results years back - today's students, if they are to succeed, start working on the important exams from 14 years old until their early twenties with very little slacking in that time. I often have to tell my youngest son to stop working and go to bed - Kitchen table covered in maths or physics books that are way beyond the stuff I did.
I enjoy the grammatical errors - it allows me to think how superior I am - the younger generation will just point out - to them it doesn't matter - when wicked is good what difference does a apostrophe make.
My memory is distinctively of very polarised teachers - The complete bastards and the very good. I failed to grasp French completely because of the sadistic methods used by the French master - he would haul you out of your chair by the hair just above your ear for the slightest mistake. This didn't improve my French - just made me wary of speaking it.
I'm a school governor at the local secondary school and part of our role as a governor is to sit in on lessons - see how things go on. I always envy the students of today's education system - the "bastards" don't survive any more and most of the educators are dedicated professionals who not only like the people they teach, they do the job really well.
I always get so cross when comparisons are made at GCSE and A level results time with results years back - today's students, if they are to succeed, start working on the important exams from 14 years old until their early twenties with very little slacking in that time. I often have to tell my youngest son to stop working and go to bed - Kitchen table covered in maths or physics books that are way beyond the stuff I did.
I enjoy the grammatical errors - it allows me to think how superior I am - the younger generation will just point out - to them it doesn't matter - when wicked is good what difference does a apostrophe make.
Quiz programmes on TV are very popular these days. I can't help be amused sometimes at some of the questions that people don't know. The worse offenders are usually teachers. Remember one chap who didn't know the name of the place Jesus was crucified. He was a vicar. Another girl (who I think worked in a bank) could not multiply 100x100. And she had the choice of two answers.....
Flinging the blackboard rubber was common practice during my school days. Thinking back, it's a wonder that there weren't serious injuries. I have seen teachers slap kids so hard that they would be knocked to the ground.
Happy Days......
Flinging the blackboard rubber was common practice during my school days. Thinking back, it's a wonder that there weren't serious injuries. I have seen teachers slap kids so hard that they would be knocked to the ground.
Happy Days......
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Bill Henry
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When I was growing up, my parents always insisted that I use “proper” English (the American version of it, anyway). They kept saying that if I speak like a fool, I will be treated like a fool.
To this day, I cannot bring myself to split an infinitive and having dangling participles is something up with which I will not put. Sometimes sentence structures can get pretty awkward, though.
I believe that television with its music videos that use ghetto, “gangsta” speech is not only influencing the grammar of our kids, but also is promoting a lack of civility among us.
I can’t remember any teachers who were so terrifying that I dreaded attending their classes. Before you can teach a kid anything, you’ve got to get their attention first. Sometimes a good whack will do the trick. I got a few knuckles to my forehead, too, but the scars are almost gone.
To this day, I cannot bring myself to split an infinitive and having dangling participles is something up with which I will not put. Sometimes sentence structures can get pretty awkward, though.
I believe that television with its music videos that use ghetto, “gangsta” speech is not only influencing the grammar of our kids, but also is promoting a lack of civility among us.
I can’t remember any teachers who were so terrifying that I dreaded attending their classes. Before you can teach a kid anything, you’ve got to get their attention first. Sometimes a good whack will do the trick. I got a few knuckles to my forehead, too, but the scars are almost gone.
Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent! – Porky Pine
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foxyframer
- Posts: 313
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- Interests: Golf, DIY and baking bread,cakes, biscuits and making chilli jams and various chutneys.
- Location: NEW FOREST HAMPSHIRE
Yes Mark, this subject is going to attract the more mature framers, some with their teacher chequered childhood.
Be good to get a few insights from our younger contributors.
Teachers nowadays would not getaway with that sort of behaviour. It seems the boot is on the other foot, with H&S and nanny state.
As for quiz programmes Prospero, we are all whizz-kids, who are fountains of knowledge on every subject without exception.
Probably due to our - it didn't do me any harm - education.
Be good to get a few insights from our younger contributors.
Teachers nowadays would not getaway with that sort of behaviour. It seems the boot is on the other foot, with H&S and nanny state.
As for quiz programmes Prospero, we are all whizz-kids, who are fountains of knowledge on every subject without exception.
Probably due to our - it didn't do me any harm - education.
Measure twice - cut once