The Framers Forum

Plagued by the beggars at the moment, they're in the roof space in the studio over my head, running all over the place outside. I stated with 4 traditional traps plus a humane type - next to bonny that. Moved to poison and those rentokil looking boxes today. Catch rate to date - nil! Lets see what the morning brings.
Got be be ultra careful with the bait though as we've two dogs who if they had much about them would at least make me feel as if they were good ratters.

I had rats in the garage a few years back, big massive things.
They had been munching through plastic and feasting on the bottom of the dog and cat food bags.
I bought one of the zapper things, cost about £40 but it was great. They go inside and it gives them an electric shock which kills them.
I then put the pet food in sturdier boxes and put a few bits into the machine along with a bit of Mars bar which I was reliably informed that they love. I caught about 10 over the space of about 3 or 4 months and if there was any more they have moved away.

I had a rat sitting on my windowsill the other day. I was at my computer, I turned round and the little bugger was just sat there staring at me. He probably went to his ratty friends and said a very similar thing about me.
I don't have any food in here so I think they were just using it as a thoroughfare. I found their entrance and exit and blocked them up. No problems since then, no evidence of any activity.
The problem with poisoning is that they die where you can't get to them, invariably in a loft space, then stink to high heaven. Not usually an option though sadly, wiley little critters.

Both bait boxes were disturbed so it looks like they have been in there. 1 mouse in the trap, and one rat this morning with the air rifle. Hardly on top of the problem yet.

A man goes to the patent office with his 'better mousetrap'. It's just a piece of wood with a tray on it. The tray has a razor-sharp edge and a piece of cheese in it. The man explains that the mouse comes along, smells the cheese, sticks his head in to get the cheese and thus cuts his throat. The patent man is a bit sceptical. He points out that the blade, although sharp, wouldn't be very effective as it is static. You could touch a sharp blade without cutting yourself - it's the sawing action that does the damage. Thus the mouse could get the cheese without injury.
The man gets the point and goes away to make improvements to the design......
Next day he comes back with mousetrap MkII. The patents man looks at it and declares it's exactly the same design as yesterday. Except there isn't any cheese in it. "Aha!!!". Says the man. "That's the clever bit". "The mouse comes along, puts his head in with his throat on the blade and quickly looks round to see where the cheese has gone".

The End.

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighbourhood late at night trying to impress each other about how hard they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and snort it so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this BS. I gotta go home and hump the cat."

There was a man who was so tight-fisted he couldn't bring himself to put a piece of cheese in a mousetrap. He cut a picture of some cheese out of a book and put that in.

Middle of the night he hears the trap spring.

Rushes downstairs to find a picture of a mouse in it.

Did you hear the one about the Elephant with a thorn in it's foot and the mouse?

If not I'll post it tomoz, can't find it online, or at least not my most excellent version.

Not rude is it?


Mickey Mouse once worked at a picture framers. He's very good at it. He can do 24 a second.

Now up to 4 of those bait boxes, food bait steadily disappearing but at long last it's quiet overhead tonight. Fingers crossed.
More jokes please!

A mouse went into a music shop....

"I'd like a mouse organ please", he said.

The shopkeeper replied, "You are the second mouse this week to ask for a mouse organ".

"Ah", said the mouse. "That would have been our Monica".


Boom! Boom!

Brilliant!

I posted a thread on the problem 6 years ago on TFG - http://www.thegrumble.com/showthread.php?31649-Mice you have to be registered to read it though.

Loved it! Everyone fell for that one!

The poison seems to have worked - getting a bit whiffy in here these days, despite 2 air fresheners.