Thought I'd share this, it made me chortle:
A jewish couple were having a row.
She turned on him and said "my mother was right, you're a schmuck, you've always beeen a schmuck and you always will be a schmuck" .
She drew breath and carried on "you make all the other schmucks look good, you're a schmuck in business and a schmuck in the bedroom. If they were holding a worldwide schmuck contest, you'd come second"
"Second?" he inquired, "why second?"
"Because you're a Schmuck!"
Keep that smile going for the rest of the day.