They walk amongst us - even in Canada

[mikeysaling]

From my Canadian buddy

Ottawa ticket agent

An Ottawa 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of 'WHY' our country
is in trouble!

1. I had a New Brunswick member of parliament ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Manitoba legislature staffer, who wanted to go to
Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ...''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South
Africa .'' His response -- click..

3. A senior B.C. deputy-minister called, furious about a Florida package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a federal minister's wife who asked, ''Is it possible
to see Russia from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
in Dallas ... I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas .... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. A Calgary council member called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Calgary left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
Vancouver at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Alberta was an hour ahead of B.C. , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.

7. A Québec MP, called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT
- Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag
on his luggage..

8. A Senator from Saskatchewan called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a rookie MPP from Ontario who asked, ''How
do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10.A senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, Smarty!"

11 A senior federal government official called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to
China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she
needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've
been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''

12 A Newfoundland & Labrador minister called to make reservations, ''I want
to go from St John's to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''




Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you
just gotta spread it

[GeoSpectrum]

I lived and worked in Texas for a while (Rockwall, east of Dallas) and I used to take the local newspaper but stopped it after a few months. When asked why I said that there wasn't enough international news and the reply came back 'What do you mean, we feature stories about Oklahoma all the time...'

[prospero]

There was a girl on a quiz prog who when asked "Who was shot in Dallas in 1963", answered, "I don't know. I didn't watch it back then".