How many Dogs does it take to change a light bulb

[Graysalchemy]

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me!

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

[mikeysaling]

Uncle Mike was out walking with his dog and a Policeman asked him to produce his dog Licence. He told the policeman he had ten children and was out of work and his wife was having another baby. But the Policeman said that if he does'tn produce the licence within twenty hours, the dog would be destroyed. So Uncle Mike produced the licence the next day, and the Policeman asked him "you're out of work, where did you get the money for the licence?" He said "Ha Ha! I sold the dog".

[prospero]

Uncle Mike was out walking the dog (Irish Wolfhound) when he came to a pub. He felt a bit thirsty so he thought he would pop in for a pint. But a sign on the door said "No Dogs Allowed On These Premises. Except Guide Dogs."

Not to be defeated, he remembered he had his sunglasses with him and he was already carrying his walking stick. So he decides to chance it and goes in and taps his way up to the bar. The Landlord says "Sorry. You can't bring that dog in here". "But he is a guide dog" replies Uncle Mike. "Doesn't look like a guide dog to me", says the Landlord.

Uncle Mike reaches down and feels the dog's head.

"Oh My God!". "Whatever have they given me today?"